The joyous message of the Resurrection is ours to hear, “Death is overthrown! Christ God is risen, granting the world great mercy!”
It makes me happy to sing this. This sentence is so powerful! It peels away the heaviness that has been weighing me down. I feel as if I have been overcome by heavy darkness but not sure why. And it bothers me.
It bothers me because I feel like I’m not normal when this happens. I feel like something is wrong with me because I’m supposed to be filled with joy and I am working so very hard to fight these heavy feelings that I grew so accustomed to over most of my life. But why isn’t it working?
Why!?
I do not know! I find comfort in our hymnography that reminds me “Christ God is risen”. I find comfort in the incredible beauty of His creation. This photo above-(No filter)! This sunset, just this week, brought me light from darkness!
I also found comfort in Tito Colliander’s book Way of the Ascetic…”The weather shifts from cloudy to clear and then back to rain: thus it is with human nature. One must always expect the clouds to hide the sun sometimes. Even the saints have had their dark hours, days and weeks.”
Even the saints! We are not alone.
He goes on to say, “Do not pity yourself, seek comfort in nothing but your cry to the Lord.”
I pray for bright skies this week as I cry to the Lord, my hope and strength.
And never forget…Christ God is risen!
Have a blessed week friends!
Kindler of Joy! 
I think the book by Archimandrite Zacharias, Remember Thy First Love. Which is all about this feeling you are having, might really help you. At least it might explain that your experience is normal which may be comforting.
Francis
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Thank you, Francis. I will look into that book. It was comforting to read “even the saints have had their dark hours, days and weeks.”
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